I had a funny poem awaiting me in my inbox yesterday. Matt thought it was much better than the “po-ehm” he wrote last Valentine’s… I’ll let you decide.
\n———————<\/p>\n
Collards is green,
\nmy dog’s name is Blue
\nand I’m so lucky
\nto have a sweet thang like you.<\/p>\n
Yore hair is like cornsilk
\na-flapping in the breeze.
\nSofter than Blue’s
\nand without all them fleas.<\/p>\n
You move like the bass,
\nwhich excite me in May.
\nYou ain’t got no scales
\nbut I luv you anyway.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Yo’re as satisfy’n as okry
\njist a-fry’n in the pan.
\nYo’re as fragrant as “snuff”
\nright out of the can.<\/p>\n
You have some’a yore teeth,
\nfor which I am proud;
\nI hold my head high
\nwhen we’re in a crowd.<\/p>\n
On special occasions,
\nwhen you shave under yore arms,
\nwell, I’m in hawg heaven,
\nand awed by yore charms.<\/p>\n
Still them fellers at work,
\nthey all want to know,
\nwhat I did to deserve
\nsuch a purdy, young doe.<\/p>\n
Like a good roll of duct tape
\nyo’re there fer yore man,
\nto patch up life’s troubles
\nand fix what you can.<\/p>\n
Yo’re as cute as a junebug
\na-buzzin’ overhead.
\nYou ain’t mean like those far ants
\nI found in my bed.<\/p>\n
Cut from the best cloth
\nlike a plaid flannel shirt,
\nyou spark up my life
\nmore than a fresh load of dirt.<\/p>\n
When you hold me real tight
\nlike a padded gunrack,
\nmy life is complete;
\nAin’t nuttin’ I lack.<\/p>\n
Yore complexion, it’s perfection,
\nlike the best vinyl sidin’.
\ndespite all the years,
\nyore age, it keeps hidin’.<\/p>\n
Me ‘n’ you’s like a Moon Pie
\nwith a RC cold drank,
\nwe go together
\nlike a skunk goes with stank.<\/p>\n
Some men, they buy chocolate
\nfor Valentine’s Day;
\nThey git it at Wal-Mart,
\nit’s romantic that way.<\/p>\n
Some men git roses
\non that special day
\nfrom the cooler at Kroger.
\n“That’s impressive,” I say.<\/p>\n
Some men buy fine diamonds
\nfrom a flea market booth.
\n“Diamonds are forever,”
\nthey explain, suave and couth.<\/p>\n
But for this man, honey,
\nthese won’t do.
\nCause yor’e too special,
\nyou sweet thang you.<\/p>\n
I got you a gift,
\nwithout taste nor odor,
\nmore useful than diamonds…
\nIT’S A NEW TROLL’N MOTOR!!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I had a funny poem awaiting me in my inbox yesterday. Matt thought it was much better than the “po-ehm” he wrote last Valentine’s… I’ll let you decide. ——————— Collards is green, my dog’s name is Blue and I’m so lucky to have a sweet thang like you. Yore hair is like cornsilk a-flapping in […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-22","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/curiousrose.com\/petals\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/curiousrose.com\/petals\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/curiousrose.com\/petals\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/curiousrose.com\/petals\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/curiousrose.com\/petals\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=22"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/curiousrose.com\/petals\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/curiousrose.com\/petals\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=22"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/curiousrose.com\/petals\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=22"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/curiousrose.com\/petals\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=22"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}