a special instrument that usually gets played in the orchestra mostly. And a lot of it I think was kind of the personalities of the people that were around me that were driven to be classical musicians- I was really not very much like them. And I think the more creative and loose environment of improvisation was a whole lot more geared, uh… it’s kind of odd, I think, talking to some people, they’ll say, “oh my gosh, you have to spontaneously create music, isn’t that a lot more stressful?” Well, actually, to me, it’s much more relaxing than trying to look an intense symphony- you know, Schurtenberger, Mahler, or something- and try to exactly nail everything in the middle. And that’s like, that’s stressful to me; and the people that that sort of music appealed to were different than I was, and I saw that, uh, that kind of chasm between what I thought I wanted to do and what was more natural. And, uh, and though I felt very behind, at that point, in my jazz studies, when I graduated from Juilliard, I kind of uh… I took a year in New York and it was like… I guess it’s kind of a shock when you graduate from college- and it’s like, “oh, now what do I do”- especially with a music degree which does not totally send you to your next job right away. Um, and it was the summer after I graduated, and just one day I got the idea and decision that I’m just going to be a jazz trumpet player. And it was like such a weird, you know… it seems like kind of a silly thing to say to yourself, but all of a sudden it was like, that’s really what I want to do. And I started really focusing on studying different players and really kind of honing my craft a bit. But, it was really after I got my masters that I kind of determined that that’s really what I wanted to pursue and where I wanted to go… Haha, I’m kind of a slow learner.
SW: Is there anything in particular you try to do or say with your music?
CM: Hmm… it’s kind of uh… that’s a tough question, because it’s kind of like there’s a lot of unconscious desires that come through in people’s playing. And its like, if a knowledgeable listener is paying attention to the music, it’s kind of like you’re telling them your dreams- they’re Sigmund Freud and you’re in trouble. You know, it’s like, uh, you can show things like insecurity a great deal in your playing- things like that. And I think the greatest thing I am trying to convey- still as a student of the music, but yet making a living doing it- is honesty and, umm, reality, and to me that manifests in working diligently to understand harmonies and chords and then relying more on intuition of what I hear than what my brain tells me, “oh, ____ is a good idea to play”, but really kind of, there is a letting go, and an honesty of “don’t be afraid, this really is who I am”. Aside from all these things telling you like “I can’t do this, I shouldn’t try this”. And, you know, letting it just, kind of, basically speak about truth and then kind of go from there what kind of mood I’m in… that sort of thing.
SW: Who are your inspirations? How have they inspired you? And how have you been influenced by their style to create your own personal voice?
CM: M-hmm… umm… well, there’s kind of a distinct point when I recall really becoming aware of listening to music. I had grown up with music all my life…and,
Very interesting stuff! I’d love to hear Carol more.
Comment by Matt — 5/20/2004 @ 12:07 am